Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Arlene Baylen Brandeis 1939-2009

I can't believe I am posting such a painful announcement so soon after sharing the joy of Asher's birth. We found out on Monday that my mother killed herself. We are all still in shock. You can see her here holding Asher for the first time. I'm so grateful to have the sweet weight of this warm baby in my arms now--he's keeping me grounded through all the chaos.

Grief, it turns out, is a lot like labor. It comes in waves, completely involuntary. Sounds come out of your mouth that you didn't know you could create. But of course labor leads to beautiful new life, and this--I'm not sure what this leads to yet. It's still too fresh, too raw. I am not ready to share details, but ask for your good thoughts. Thank you.

29 comments:

  1. Oh Gayle, I have no words. My heart goes out to you and your family with all my love and support. I'm so sorry.

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  2. Gayle, even in pain, your words are so true. Blessings.

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  3. Oh Gayle. Oh GAYLE. I am so very very sorry. I am sending you waves of love and comfort. How terribly shocking. I am so sorry.

    And yes, hold the weight of that beautiful baby. Sending love, love and love.

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  4. I'm so very sorry, Gayle. My deepest condolences.

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  5. I am also so very sorry to hear this news...what you write here about grief coming in waves so like childbirth has touched me right down to my bones with its stark simplicity and truth.
    ~Delia~

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  6. Oh, Gayle.

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((holdingyouinmyheart)))))))))))))))))))))))

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  7. Gayle, my heart just breaks for you. I am so so so sorry.

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  8. "Death is as casual-and often as unexpected-as birth. It is as difficult to define grief as joy. Each is finite. Each will fade.”

    — James Alonzo Bishop, 1907-1987
    Journalist and Biographer
    Among those honored by inclusion in R.M. Nixon's enemies list

    Gayle our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. We're so very sorry to hear of this tragic and sudden loss.
    Blessings,
    Karen, Jean, and Bret

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  9. Beautiful Gayle...Again, as in my email, as my ICU nurse daughter said after witnessing birth and death so many times, it's the same human process, we're always being born...your Mom is being born, but you are her witness and that's painful to bear...mucho amor, tu amiga...Almaluz

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  10. Gayle, there are no words that can comfort, but know I'm thinking of you. Hold your baby and he will hold your heart. So very sorry. Linda xo

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  11. I am so, so sorry to hear this sad news.
    xox cindy

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  12. Oh, Gayle, I am so sorry to hear this news, and am holding you and your family in my thoughts.

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  13. No words at all. Gayle, I am thinking of you and the palpable sweetness that travels with you into every room-on these unimaginable seas. Wishing- caring very very very--Jenny F.

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  14. Gayle,
    My heart aches for you and your family. Take comfort in the joy you brought to her life. I can see it in the photo of your mom with sweet Asher.
    Love, Debbie Thomas

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  15. I hope you know that each of us--your many friends--is carrying a piece of this grief, this weight for you. When it is crushing, remember us, feel us there with you. Tears and hugs and kisses.

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  16. Gayle,
    My deepest sympathies are with you and your family. You are in my thoughts and my heart.
    Love,
    Claudine

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  17. Oh jeez. I'm so sorry to hear this. Take care, Gayle. We're thinking of you. Let us know if there's anything more we can do to help.

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  18. I'm very sorry for your loss. Blessings.

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  19. Gayle, this is a VERY sad news... Sorry to hear this. So soon after the birth of Asher, while at it!

    My thoughts will be with you...

    Rach

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  20. Dear Gayle,

    I have no words and am stunned. I do not know you, but feel I sort of do via your beautiful books and your blogs. I will hold you and your beautiful family in angel wings of prayer, light, and love.

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  21. Your beautiful MOTHER? What a spirt and soul she had. She must have been in tremendous pain and confusion. Much love from me and Kaaren.

    Richard

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  22. I'm so so sorry Gayle. You and your family will be in my thoughts. I can't believe how sad that is. I wish you did not have to deal with such a tragedy right now.

    Love,
    Jennifer Margulis (your blog won't let comment when I try to use my actual name)

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  23. I'm very sorry to read about the loss of your mother, Gayle. Now when I want to wish you congratulations so much. Congratulations on your happy and healthy boy and I'm glad your mom met him. I wish she stayed for you.

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  24. Oh Gayle, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you and your family, and hoping for healing, though I imagine it will be slow.

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  25. Oh Gayle. I'm so very sorry. I wish I knew what to say, but I'm without words. Just know that you and your family in my thoughts.
    Hugs....Kathy

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  26. gayle, woke up this morning thinking that your baby must have been born. went to your blog to see what was up. saw that beautiful photo of asher and the tragic news of arlene. i am holding you in the light, sending you love. much healing to come--we love and grieve with you. it's all the same, cracking ourselves open more and more to hold more love, hold more grief. love you, p

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  27. I am so very very sorry to read of this, Gayle.

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