Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Arlene Baylen Brandeis 1939-2009

I can't believe I am posting such a painful announcement so soon after sharing the joy of Asher's birth. We found out on Monday that my mother killed herself. We are all still in shock. You can see her here holding Asher for the first time. I'm so grateful to have the sweet weight of this warm baby in my arms now--he's keeping me grounded through all the chaos.

Grief, it turns out, is a lot like labor. It comes in waves, completely involuntary. Sounds come out of your mouth that you didn't know you could create. But of course labor leads to beautiful new life, and this--I'm not sure what this leads to yet. It's still too fresh, too raw. I am not ready to share details, but ask for your good thoughts. Thank you.
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28 comments:

  1. Sharon HurlbutDecember 2, 2009 at 2:23 PM

    Oh Gayle, I have no words. My heart goes out to you and your family with all my love and support. I'm so sorry.

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  2. DonnaDecember 2, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    Gayle, even in pain, your words are so true. Blessings.

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  3. SusanDecember 2, 2009 at 6:34 PM

    Oh Gayle. Oh GAYLE. I am so very very sorry. I am sending you waves of love and comfort. How terribly shocking. I am so sorry.

    And yes, hold the weight of that beautiful baby. Sending love, love and love.

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  4. Leonard ChangDecember 2, 2009 at 6:58 PM

    I'm so very sorry, Gayle. My deepest condolences.

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  5. Left-handed Trees...December 2, 2009 at 7:06 PM

    I am also so very sorry to hear this news...what you write here about grief coming in waves so like childbirth has touched me right down to my bones with its stark simplicity and truth.
    ~Delia~

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  6. Alexis YaelDecember 2, 2009 at 7:09 PM

    Oh, Gayle.

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((holdingyouinmyheart)))))))))))))))))))))))

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  7. Anne UrsuDecember 2, 2009 at 7:42 PM

    Gayle, my heart just breaks for you. I am so so so sorry.

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  8. Bret KnightDecember 2, 2009 at 7:44 PM

    "Death is as casual-and often as unexpected-as birth. It is as difficult to define grief as joy. Each is finite. Each will fade.”

    — James Alonzo Bishop, 1907-1987
    Journalist and Biographer
    Among those honored by inclusion in R.M. Nixon's enemies list

    Gayle our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. We're so very sorry to hear of this tragic and sudden loss.
    Blessings,
    Karen, Jean, and Bret

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  9. Alma Luz VillanuevaDecember 2, 2009 at 8:09 PM

    Beautiful Gayle...Again, as in my email, as my ICU nurse daughter said after witnessing birth and death so many times, it's the same human process, we're always being born...your Mom is being born, but you are her witness and that's painful to bear...mucho amor, tu amiga...Almaluz

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  10. Linda CrosfieldDecember 2, 2009 at 8:37 PM

    Gayle, there are no words that can comfort, but know I'm thinking of you. Hold your baby and he will hold your heart. So very sorry. Linda xo

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  11. CindyDecember 2, 2009 at 11:20 PM

    I am so, so sorry to hear this sad news.
    xox cindy

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  12. LibbyDecember 3, 2009 at 4:16 AM

    Oh, Gayle, I am so sorry to hear this news, and am holding you and your family in my thoughts.

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  13. AnonymousDecember 3, 2009 at 8:08 AM

    No words at all. Gayle, I am thinking of you and the palpable sweetness that travels with you into every room-on these unimaginable seas. Wishing- caring very very very--Jenny F.

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  14. Debbie ThomasDecember 3, 2009 at 2:52 PM

    Gayle,
    My heart aches for you and your family. Take comfort in the joy you brought to her life. I can see it in the photo of your mom with sweet Asher.
    Love, Debbie Thomas

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  15. Tricia J. O'BrienDecember 3, 2009 at 7:35 PM

    I hope you know that each of us--your many friends--is carrying a piece of this grief, this weight for you. When it is crushing, remember us, feel us there with you. Tears and hugs and kisses.

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  16. meDecember 5, 2009 at 4:43 PM

    Gayle,
    My deepest sympathies are with you and your family. You are in my thoughts and my heart.
    Love,
    Claudine

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  17. Kit StolzDecember 6, 2009 at 11:18 AM

    Oh jeez. I'm so sorry to hear this. Take care, Gayle. We're thinking of you. Let us know if there's anything more we can do to help.

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  18. dmccaffertyDecember 6, 2009 at 9:34 PM

    I'm very sorry for your loss. Blessings.

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  19. RachelDecember 6, 2009 at 11:29 PM

    Gayle, this is a VERY sad news... Sorry to hear this. So soon after the birth of Asher, while at it!

    My thoughts will be with you...

    Rach

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  20. Joan McMillanDecember 7, 2009 at 5:02 PM

    Dear Gayle,

    I have no words and am stunned. I do not know you, but feel I sort of do via your beautiful books and your blogs. I will hold you and your beautiful family in angel wings of prayer, light, and love.

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  21. PoetDecember 8, 2009 at 9:57 AM

    Your beautiful MOTHER? What a spirt and soul she had. She must have been in tremendous pain and confusion. Much love from me and Kaaren.

    Richard

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  22. About the bookDecember 10, 2009 at 9:25 PM

    I'm so so sorry Gayle. You and your family will be in my thoughts. I can't believe how sad that is. I wish you did not have to deal with such a tragedy right now.

    Love,
    Jennifer Margulis (your blog won't let comment when I try to use my actual name)

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  23. Tujie7December 11, 2009 at 9:51 AM

    I'm very sorry to read about the loss of your mother, Gayle. Now when I want to wish you congratulations so much. Congratulations on your happy and healthy boy and I'm glad your mom met him. I wish she stayed for you.

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  24. kate hopperDecember 17, 2009 at 10:13 AM

    Oh Gayle, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you and your family, and hoping for healing, though I imagine it will be slow.

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  25. PoozyBearDecember 21, 2009 at 11:28 AM

    Oh Gayle. I'm so very sorry. I wish I knew what to say, but I'm without words. Just know that you and your family in my thoughts.
    Hugs....Kathy

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  26. peggy hongDecember 27, 2009 at 4:15 AM

    gayle, woke up this morning thinking that your baby must have been born. went to your blog to see what was up. saw that beautiful photo of asher and the tragic news of arlene. i am holding you in the light, sending you love. much healing to come--we love and grieve with you. it's all the same, cracking ourselves open more and more to hold more love, hold more grief. love you, p

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  27. LeightongirlJanuary 2, 2010 at 5:33 PM

    I am so very very sorry to read of this, Gayle.

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  28. Patry FrancisJanuary 2, 2010 at 9:31 PM

    So, so very sorry.

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